Parts of a Whole
by flyboyfan23
Summary: Sheppard relies on his team even when they're not there and realizes how much they define who he is. collection of one-shots. shepwhump.
1. Comfort

**A.N. So I have no idea where this will be going. I just started writing it the other day out of boredom. I think it's gonna turn into a collection of one shots, each involving a different expedition member though I don't know who or how many I'll go through yet. There won't be much plot, if any, but just a lot of hurt/comfort stuff. Hope you enjoy anyways, oh and I don't own SGA. duh**

Chapter One: Beckett

Sheppard whimpered softly through his cracked lips as he pulled his limp arm closer to his chest, shielding it. A shiver ran through him. Water falling as a steady stream from the storm raging outside, the roof failing to keep most of it out. The dirt floor that he had laid on now turned to mud, coating his body. He didn't have the strength to move, not that there was anywhere to move to in his small cell that was anymore sheltered from the rain. The water stung the fresh lacerations on his back and shoulders, dissolving the scabs and washing away the dried blood. Another, more violent shiver ran through him.

"_Great, besides being flayed open by that gorilla on steroids and used as the training bag of the newest recruits and can now add hypothermia and blood loss to that." _

He twisted his neck and opened his mouth slightly to catch that falling water, closing his eyes and sighing as the cold water soothed his dry throat.

"_No point in adding dehydration to that list." _

"_No lad, that would not be ideal." _

The Colonel opened his eyes, blinking as he came face to face with a pair of light blue eyes peering down at him.

"_Doc?" _

"_Yes, lad."_

"_You really here? We going home?"_ His forehead creasing, the rain plastering his hair to his scalp.

"_Not yet, lad. Not yet." _

"_Then why are you here?" _

"_I'm not really here, Colonel. You know that." _Beckett said, sitting down next to Sheppard.

Sheppard nodded. _"Yeah, I know." _John groaned, pushing himself to a sitting position. The rain was still coming down hard, the occasional clash of thunder almost shaking the walls. The storm had sent most of the tribe that had captured him to find shelter, leaving only a small number of guards. It would have been his best chance for escape but for the villages rather primitive skills, the iron chain around his neck still did the job of keeping him for going anywhere. The chain didn't attach to anything inside his cell, instead trailing through an opening in the door and connecting to a large post in the middle of the village.

"_So what are you doing here?" _

"_You know the answer to that too, lad." _The Scot told him softly.

"_Yeah, I suppose I do." _John sighed. His whole body hurt. Fire engulfing his muscles only to be shocked with the ever-pouring cold rain. Pain coursed through his body, leaving his muscles shaking. Fear had settled in his gut. He was alone on a hostile planet, unsure where his team was or if they were safe. His mind knew he needed someone to talk to and had created the person that had offered comfort and pain relief.

"_So what do ya think they want with you?" _Beckett asked, eying the bruises and cut covering the man's body.

"_Don't know. Just a rather unfriendly group?" _John looked at the door then back to the doctor. _"Seem to run into those a lot." _

"_Aye, that you do, lad. Think there's anyway you could appease 'em?" _

Sheppard shook his head before sinking his head to rest in his good arm, which was hung over his knees. Slowly, his eyelids began to droop, the pilot no longer able to fight the exhaustion down.

"_Get some sleep, lad." _

**A.N. So the chapters are gonna be kinda short but please review, but no flames please. **


	2. Resistance

**A.N. Thanks for the reviews!!! And a special thanks to Sterenyk Strey for giving me some great advice. Unforunately I don't own stargate but if I did I would have Sheppard locked up and all for myself so I guess this way everyone can enjoy him.  
**

The rain had died to a gentle drizzle when John returned to consciousness. He groaned as he levered himself back to a sitting position, having slumped over in the night. His muscles were shaking minutely in the cold.

"_You look like crap." _

Sheppard looked around him at the sound of the gruff voice. Ronon sat in the corner furthest from him, leaning lazily against the wall. He was perfectly dry, the ever-present rain not seeming to effect him. Once John began to think about it Beckett hadn't been wet either. Just more proof that he was going crazy. You would think that if he had the need to imagine his team here, he could at least made it a little more believable. Chuckling to himself, John began to wipe the mud that caked the entire right side of his body off as much as he could.

"_Yeah, I know." _Sheppard sighed as he heard the squelching of boots outside of his crude cell. Frustration brewed under the surface. The cell was poorly crafted, merely wood planks and rope. The building would not have held even a child. The Colonel should have easily escaped and he would have but the cold band around his neck kept him from doing so. There was really no need to build a secure prison cell when they had an iron chain that did a fine job of keeping the prisoner within a ten feet radius.

"_You could always ambush them when they come for you, bet one of 'em has a key." _Ronon mumbled from his corner, reading John's thoughts.

"_And if they don't?" _Sheppard replied, examining the manacle once again for any signs of weakness as well as glancing around himself for anything to pick the lock with. He found nothing.

"_Then you've let em know your not beaten yet."_

Sheppard chuckled, subconsciously pulling his broken arm closer to his body as he thought about the beating he'd be sure to get if he failed to escape. He had already lost a lot of blood due to the attentions of his captors and being left out in the cold storm had not helped him one bit. Already he could feel his chest constricting and the ache of a fever setting in. He wasn't looking forward to facing down the villagers after he ticked them off. He had done that already, not even knowing how he had done it, and, needless to say, he hadn't enjoyed it. Maybe it would be better if he stayed put, not attempting anything.

"_That's quitters talk, Sheppard" _Ronon grumbled, pushing himself to his feet but still leaning against the wall once he was to his feet. _"We all know your just naturally lazy, but you and me both know you're lazy on your own terms. If they don't kill you being locked up in here will." _

Sheppard smirked slightly at Ronon's jab. It was true. He confessed to being lazy and though it took everyone by surprise, a rather calm and peace-loving man. Qualities not commonly found in hot-shot pilots. But Ronon was also right that he couldn't stay here, he was already going stir crazy just sitting there and while he was lazy, he was also proactive. His team was looking for him but he saw no reason not to take a chance to escape when it was given.

The Air Force Pilot winced as a pair of boots stopped right outside the shack, rattling the lock.

"_I'm blaming you if this all goes south." _John mumbled, pushing himself to his feet. Ronon dissolved into the air as the door opened and Sheppard was lead out by a tug on the chain around his neck.

**A.N. So that was really short but I guess Ronon isn't a big talker. **


	3. Questions

**A.N.- I'm so sorry!! I've recently moved home and haven't had any internet access so updates will be really slow coming. Fair warning: I haven't had the time to really write and this whole chapter was rather forced. So again I'm sorry for taking so long and sorry this isn't that good. :/**

Needless to say, everything did go south.

"_So how'd you do it?"_

John groaned as the voice pierced the darkness surrounding him. His escape attempt had failed, Sheppard managed to overpower the two that originally had come for him but he had been to slow to silence them before they were able to alert the rest of the village. To put it in simple terms, he had been beaten till unconsciousness.

"_Do what, McKay?" _

McKay sat in the same corner as Ronon and Beckett had, arms crossed over his chest, looking rather annoyed to have been brought into this situation even if he was only a figment of John's imagination.

"_How'd you tick the local grunt squad off?" _He repeated.

"_How should I know? They don't even speak English." _Sheppard shrugged, wincing slightly.

Rodney leaned forward to look the Colonel in the eye. _"You, Captain Kirk, have an unnatural ability to find what isn't meant to be found, look at what isn't supposed to be looked at, and touch what is never needed to be touched. So I ask you; what did you do?" _

Sheppard hissed in pain as he levered himself up onto his elbows from his position on his back. They had whipped his chest as well as his back this time and he could just feel infection setting in.

"_But I didn't. I didn't find, look, or touch anything. I didn't DO anything." _

"_Then maybe it's something you didn't do." _

The pilot let his head fall back to the floor with a dull thud. _"Like what, McKay?" _

The scientist shrugged. _"I don't know. The proper greeting, maybe their offended by your hair. It wouldn't be the first time." _

"_You here for any particular reason. McKay?" _John asked him, suppressing a cough.

Rodney shrugged. _"Just miss my charming personality?"_

"_Nah, I don't think that's it." _The Colonel scoffed. _"Think Teyla would be here if I had wanted that."_

"_Hey, I have personality." _

John chuckled. _"No one doubts that, McKay. It's the debate of whether it would be considered charming." _

"_Har Har." _Rodney rolled his eyes. _"So no idea what they want you for?" _

The pilot shook his head before wincing slightly as the locks on the cell door once again began to rattle. _"Guess I'll ask 'em this time." _

Sheppard pushed himself upright, glancing over to the corner where the scientist had been just seconds before. He swallowed his fear and straightened to face what was to come.

**A.N.- Sorry again!! Things are just a little crazy in the real world. but graduation is tomorrow and hopefully things will slow down again after that!! **


	4. Reasons

**Thank you everyone for being so patient. My internet time is limited now that I'm back home and with a family of six there's always some else hounding you for their turn. **

This time when John awoke, he did not come face to face with a team member, at least not immediately. He pushed himself to his elbows and pulled himself to a drier area of the dirt, though most of the floor was a thick pit of mud. It had rained again last night, thoroughly soaking everything that had been even remotely dry. A harsh cough had settled deep into John's lungs and a fever burned under his skin. His body shook slightly and his vision was hazy as well as doubling if he moved his head too quickly. The smell of vomit wafted over from a far corner, where he had emptied his gut repeatedly until blood was coming up from his abused throat.

John wished for relief, wanting nothing more than it all to stop. His breath hitched in his chest, the gurgling of fluid on his lungs.

"_Don't you die on me, Colonel. You know how much I hate the command." _

Sheppard smiled as the speaker made himself visible, even if there were two of him.

"_Don't like the top huh, Major?" _He asked his second in command.

"_You kidding? All the decisions and paperwork? I'd much rather face down a dozen wraith." _Evan chuckled as crossed his arms and leaned against the wall.

"_I'd take paperwork compared to this any day." _John croaked, breaking into another coughing fit. He struggled to push himself up into a sitting position to make the harsh outburst a little less chest constricting. As it was, the attack left him gasping in as much air as he could to fill his deprived lungs.

"_I don't think anyone would blame you for that one, sir." _Lorne's eyes grew soft as he watched his C.O. struggle to pull in the much required oxygen.

"_You know, you're a hallucination so there's really no reason for you to keep it so formal." _

Lorne shook his head with a grin on his lips. _"Even your subconscious knows I would never do that, sir." _

The Air Force pilot attempted to answer but a harsh coughing fit grabbed hold of him, leaving him exhausted and weak. His body shook in the cold but a fever burned beneath his skin. Lacking the strength to even sit up and the ability to pull in a sufficient amount of oxygen, thoughts of hopelessness began to scroll through his head. Death seemingly like a comparatively easy option, one that seemed to be fast on the way as well.

"_Don't even think that way, sir." _Lorne snapped harshly, having read his C.O.'s thoughts. The strength and commanding tone behind the Major's voice had Sheppard snapping his eyes open fairly quickly.

"_You're a soldier, sir. A soldier and a fighter. You wouldn't let these primitive villagers break you down. Your death would only cripple operations on Atlantis, not to mention everyone who depends on you there." _

John groaned as he turned his head to get a better view of Evan. _"Atlantis would run fine. I'm not really needed. I'm just the gene boy." _

"_That's the fever talking, sir." _Lorne took a step towards him, as if to make his point clearer. _"Is you self-confidence really that low? Always volunteering for suicide missions because you think you're not worth as much as everyone else?"_

At first John was shocked that Lorne seemed to know all this stuff but he quickly remembered that it was all in his head so why shouldn't he know all.

"_You just list off all the people you let down at night? Dragging yourself down with the "what-ifs". _Evan's voice rose another level. _"Well then think about this, Colonel. How many people would you be letting down by dieing?" _

Sheppard sighed as his brain immediately went through a short list. They could all live without him, no problem. They may be upset for a little while but they'd get over it.

"_No they wouldn't, sir. Think about it this way if you can't see the fact that you're their friend. McKay would never find another person with as strong of a gene as you. Ronon would never stay in Atlantis, and would kill the scientists far to often if he did. Elizabeth wouldn't have someone to bounce ideas off of about running the city. Teyla would be out a sparring partner, having finally gotten you good enough to give her at least a bit of a challenge. Carson would be out his most frequent patient and would grow quite bored. And I would be in command, I will personally hunt you down and kill you again if you leave me in that position." _

John sighed as the Major finished. Death still sounded like the easy way out but Lorne had hit on Sheppard's strongest trait: putting others first. He told himself that they would get over it, move on with their lives, but Evan had made him feel guilty about dieing. He had followed John's twisted logic in the midst of the fever and made dieing an inconvenience for the people he cared about most, and John was not about to cause trouble for his friends.

Lorne shook his head as he watch the pilot mull over what he had said. It was probably not the best psychology but who said John's subconscious was rational, it simply urged preservation, with whatever means necessary. The Major slowly faded into the surrounding darkness as Sheppard sunk into a restless sleep, the desire to fight helping heal his injuries and fight the sickness raging in his body.

**Sorry if you didn't like it, just don't let me know. It's not my best and I know that. Please review if you have any nice critqueing to do. :) and yes im sure i spelled that wrong. **


	5. Doubts

**I'm so sorry I haven't been able to update for quite a while but good news. I passed extern, now on to the state boards...eek. I will be having a bit more time to write so you may be hearing more for me. **

**So here's the next chapter. There will be one more, if I get it written. enjoy  
**

Fever burned under Sheppard's skin, igniting his cells and causing a thin sheen of sweat to cover his flesh. The pilot was curled in a fetal position, his arms hugged protectively around his middle. Nausea swirled in his gut. He hadn't been fed the few days these people had held him but yet his stomach insisted on expelling all of it's contents hourly. A shallow moan broke through the man's broken lips as his stomach cramped up once again.

"_They will come for you, John." _

Sheppard barely cracked his eyes open, just enough to make out Teyla sitting cross-legged in the corner. Her hair fell gently over her shoulders, seemingly untouched by the ever-present humidity. Her smile was warm but seemingly guarded. John groaned as she multiplied in front of him and began to sway. He was almost positive the last crack on the head had, at least, dented his skull.

"_They would have come by now."_ John sighed, his hope waning with each hour. Being held prisoner wasn't really something new to him, neither was the torture unfortunately, and while it had taken weeks sometimes for them to find him that was when he had been moved off planet or his captors had a large army at their disposal. He hadn't been moved off planet or even that far from where he had been taken in the first place and it wasn't as if this backwards village with their bows and arrows could really stand up against Atlantis. So what was taking them so long?

"_I do not know, but you must not begin to doubt. They will come for you. Something must simply be delaying them."  
_Delaying them. He had only been dragged a few miles, an easy 20 minutes with a jumper. Sure, he was in the middle of a jungle but there had to be a big enough clearing to land somewhere. A shiver sent a shock of sharp pain through his bones as a cold rain once again began to fall. Only a gentle drizzle but to the sick and beaten pilot each raindrop felt like a needle of ice driving into his skin. Fear welled inside of John when he realized he had stopped feeling his toes and fingertips long ago. His team better get here soon, he wasn't sure if he would make it through another night.

It didn't make since that they weren't here yet. A small group of natives with bows and arrows couldn't possibly be a match for Atlantis. With jumpers and automated weapons, there was no way these backwards locals could hold off his team. Maybe they just weren't coming. Maybe they finally hadn't gotten sick of coming to rescue him. Woolsey had probably called it quits, the IOA simply cutting their losses. He couldn't really blame them. He found himself captured or injured nearly every other week. They had probably just gotta sick of always coming to pull his butt out of the fire. The expedition had finally given up on him, that was that.

"_They have not given up on you, John." _Teyla scolded him gently. _"They will be here for you. You must have faith." _

John snorted and was about to respond with a sarcastic remark when a scream interrupted the silence.

"_What was that?" _He asked, attempting to push himself to a sitting position but failed as he fell back down with a gasp.

Teyla simply gave him a knowing smirk as the familiar whine of a jumper filled the air. _"Told you so."_ She said, using the phrase she had heard McKay and Sheppard use far to often with each other. John shook his head, smirking as he carefully levered himself to his elbows. John's attention turned from Teyla at the sound of boots squelching in the mud near the door.

"_Sheppard?" _Rodney's voice spoke from behind the door. _"Sheppard, you in there?" _

"_Yup." _John answered, trying to suppress the coughing that the word had incited.

There was a rattle at the door as Rodney attempted to pull it open, but the door, though seemingly weak did not budge.

"_Stupid things stuck." _McKay mumbled.

"_Hold on, John. We will get you out soon." _The real Teyla's voice spoke up. Knowing his team, John could easily imagine the Athosian's smooth hand gesture towards the door as she stepped back to allow Ronon, with muscles abundant, to force the door into cooperation. Sure enough the door steadily creaked open as the Satedan all but ripped it from it's hinges.

"_You look like crap." _His low voice rumbled as he took in his C.O.'s beaten appearance.

John chuckled as he looked up at his team, squinting as they doubled and tripled in front of him. _"I feel lik' crap. Don..sup-ose you g't any of...Kell'r's good stu'?" _The pilot frowned as he bean to slur.

"_Unfortunately, no but we will get you back to Atlantis and you will receive proper care." _John rolled his neck to look at Teyla who had come to kneel next to him.

"_You'll hav t- get rid'of tha' thing firs'." _He motioned at the thick, iron chain around his ankle, so coated in mud the team hadn't even noticed it at first.

"_No problem." _Ronon muttered, pulling out his blaster and severing the link with two well placed shots.

John groaned as he pushed himself further up. _"Help me up, buddy." _

The pain as Ronon helped Sheppard to his feet, as well as the nausea, proved too much, sending the pilot reeling. Although how hard he fought it, the edges of the Colonel's vision began to darken until he fell unconscious with Ronon struggling to support his sudden dead weight.

**Please review!! I found that waiting so long since updating the story kind of lost it's drive and I had/have some writers block so sorry if you weren't pleased. :) **


	6. Relief

**Last Chapter!! **

"_What did they do to him? He was only there a few days!" _

John could feel the tingle of Ancient technology in the back of his mind and the hear the hum of the jumper beneath him. Most people found the sensation irritating but anyone with the ATA gene quickly adapted, and for John's own unique genetic strength it had become almost second nature like breathing, a comfort of home he had never really expected to feel again.

"_Dr. Keller will inform of the Colonel's injuries once he is safety back in Atlantis, Rodney." _Teyla's calm voice rose over the puddle jumper's engine to reach John's ears. He, however, kept his eyes closed, simply enjoying the fact that his team was here and he was no longer stuck on that mud hole of a planet.

"_All of this just because his hair's black?" _Rodney continued to mumble. _"I mean, it's not even really that black, more just a really dark brown. And who's ever heard of black being the sign of demon possesion-" _As much as John wished to hear the rest of the conversation, the fact that his mind now knew he was safe and his ever burning fever, he soon slipped into a deep sleep, unable to fight it any longer.

He awoke hours lated to the steady beat of a heart monitor and the aspectic smell of the Atlantis infirmary. A fog hung over his mind, but he welcomed it as it meant he was on the 'good stuff' and would not be feeling any pain for a while. Sifting his legs slightly he took note of the Athosian woman next to him. Her arms were folded on the side on his bed, forming a pillow for her head. John's hand was tightly grasped in her own, the cool flesh on her fingers a welcome relief to his fever burned skin.

Sighing in contentment, Sheppard snuggled deeper in the blankets, his warm body a sharp contrast to his prior living conditions.

He was about to drift back to sleep when a soft voice had him cracking his eyes open again.

"_They came for you, John." _

Elizabeth Weir stood in front of him, in her expedition uniform and the heart necklace she always wore.

Her statement did not require an answer but Sheppard himself nodding.

"_Your team are you family, an odd one I will give you, but a family none the less." _She smirked, folding her arms across her chest. _"You must remember that you are as important a member here as anyone else and they are willing to do anything for you as you are willing to do anything for them." _

Her voice grew as she stated the last line.

"_They will always come for you. You must not forget that."_

John nodded as she disappeared, whispering in reply. _"Thank you."_

**Thank you everyone for sticking with me!! It's been a long few months and I'm glad to finally wrap this one up and move on to another. :)**


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